In a recent Time Magazine cover the question is asked, “Are You Mom Enough?” The article states “Why attachment parenting drives some to extremes – and how Dr. Bill Sears became their guru”. According to Dr. Sears the definition of attachment parenting is “a style of parenting that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents”. The true question is who knows what is best for the baby and parents and is the same “style” of parenting right for all children?
Dr. Sears has 7 Baby B’s to explain what he calls the “tools of attachment parenting”.
1. Birth Bonding – the way baby and parents get stated with one another helps the early attachment unfold.
2. Breastfeeding – breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought.
3. Babywearing – baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver.
4. Bedding close to baby – wherever family members get the best night’s sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping helps busy daytime parents reconnect with baby.
5. Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry – responding sensitively to your baby’s cries builds trust.
6. Beware of baby trainers – attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice.
7. Balance – In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it’s easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. Learn the key to putting balance in your parenting.
I want to share with you a better kind of attachment parenting….a Biblical approach.
1. Diligently invest time with your children. You cannot train your children if they are not with you. Don’t miss out on training opportunities by sending them off to school! I love to watch a mother duck with her children. You don’t see mother duck off doing her own thing and all the little ducklings congregating at the pool. No, you see all the little ducklings following mother duck around. They are learning from her example.
Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
2. Teach your children God’s Word. May your home be filled with Scripture that your children may see God’s Word, memorize God’s Word and be trained in God’s Word.
2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness…
3.Do you desire children? God’s Word teaches that they are precious gifts to us. Do we see them as a gift or as a burden? When our children are young, it is very time consuming to care for their every need. There are times when we become discouraged. There are times when we look around and think we are missing out. I am no longer able to sleep through the night, go to the gym daily or go to an uninterrupted lunch with my girlfriends. What I do have is a treasure from the Lord which far outweighs the earthly treasures around us.
Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
4. Live in such a way as to be an example to your children. Encourage your children unto righteousness.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
5. Show your children you love them by disciplining them. Remember you can’t train your children if they are not with you. Do we hate our children? Of course not! But God’s Word says if we love them we will be diligent to discipline them.
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
6. Train for righteousness. Take your job seriously. Your child’s future depends on it!
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.