In a recent Time Magazine cover the question is asked, “Are You Mom Enough?” The article states “Why attachment parenting drives some to extremes – and how Dr. Bill Sears became their guru”. According to Dr. Sears the definition of attachment parenting is “a style of parenting that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents”. The true question is who knows what is best for the baby and parents and is the same “style” of parenting right for all children?

Dr. Sears has 7 Baby B’s to explain what he calls the “tools of attachment parenting”.

1.  Birth Bonding – the way baby and parents get stated with one another helps the early attachment unfold.

2. Breastfeeding – breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought.

3. Babywearing – baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver.

4. Bedding close to baby – wherever family members get the best night’s sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping helps busy daytime parents reconnect with baby.  

5.  Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry – responding sensitively to your baby’s cries builds trust.

6. Beware of baby trainers – attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice.

7. Balance – In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it’s easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. Learn the key to putting balance in your parenting.

I want to share with you a better kind of attachment parenting….a Biblical approach.

Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 

2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness…

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. 

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Teenagers Are Obnoxious?

While reading a magazine today, at an appointment, I came across an article entitled Fact: Kids Really Are More Obnoxious These Days. The following is a article from Family Circle Magazine dated October 1, 2010.

"Melvin Konner, a biological anthropologist at Emory University and author of The Evolution of Childhood (Harvard University Press), decodes the mystery of adolescence.

Why are my teens driving me insane? Testosterone surges in boys and girls facilitate aggression and sexuality, turning them from children into something not quite adult. The problem is that while puberty typically takes place somewhere around 12 or 13, their frontal lobes, which are linked to impulse control and decision-making, are still immature. No wonder they're such a pain.

Are boys worse? Brain-wise, they develop slower. At age 7-8 they're a year behind girls, and at puberty about two years behind. The disconnect is bigger, so they're more of a headache.

What's behind the extreme mood swings? The big news is how much the brain grows after puberty until about age 20, especially the region that monitors and interprets emotions. For teens, just looking in the mirror and seeing the changes in their bodies can be overwhelming. The intensity of the struggle to control feelings is far greater than we thought even 10,20 years ago.

So we should give them a pass? We promise to take care of them no matter what, then one day start telling them they'll have to leave the nest. Kids figure they might as well reject us first, hence all the rebellion and risk-taking. Consider them less guilty by reason of adolescence.

We can read all about this in your book right? Then again it's 700-plus pages.  You sound like a teenager. But similar to a fruitcake, it makes a great doorstop."

I want to share some thoughts with you, regarding young adulthood. I have four young adults in my home currently and I can assure you they are not obnoxious, rebellious, aggressive or hormone-driven. Why are my young adults different than what Professor Konner has observed? For one, we have raised them to be different than the world. We do not prolong the stage of childhood. We do not allow disrespect or rebellion in our home, from young adults or toddlers. We are striving to train our young adults to be Christ-like young men and women, not driven by testosterone and estrogen. This kind of training takes daily work. Not the kind of work that can be done in a few minutes each evening in passing. It is also not the kind of work left only to your pastor and elders at church on Sunday and Wednesday. As parents we are commanded to teach our children. Deuteronomy 6:4 says, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. " """

I will leave you with a verse one of my young adult sons read to me this week. Proverbs 10:1, "A wise son maketh a glad father, but a foolish son is heaviness to his mother."